You can tell a lot about a person by the items in their house. Whenever somebody posts their picture on a blog, I catch myself focused more on the background instead of the foreground. Yeah, I see you, I know what you look like... but what's that on your table? What kind of computer do you use? What's in your refrigerator?

I thought it would be an interesting experiment if bloggers took snapshots of items in their house, and explained its origin or purpose. Maybe I'll start a trend. Here's my first contribution with details below:



Overview: This is a shelf in our guest bedroom/home office. The walls are painted lilac from the previous owners. We plan to paint them a new color very soon. Lilac is fine, but not for this room.

Clock: Rodney got me this kind of retro fun clock, part of the room's blue and green colors.

Flower Arrangement: Rodney did this almost 2 years ago, and I've kept it ever since. I think he does a great job with flowers.

The "Thank You" Angel: Rodney gave me this after I took care of him in 2004. He had all of his wisdom teeth pulled (never a fun thing) and after he recovered, he gave me this. It means a lot to me.

Ceramic "shot glasses": My great friend Winso made these for me while he was taking a class. I think it was 1998, but it may have been 1999. There is a little note inside the one in the back. They are special to me because he made them himself. One of them has a hand engraved with the middle finger sticking up! That's Winso's unique sense of humor.

The great thing about writing this post is that it made me realize everything I put on this shelf was given to me by someone who loves me. That's a nice thing to be reminded of. Thanks Rodney and Winso. I love you both.

Okay, bloggers... your turn. I wanna see something from your home.

Last night, I started reading a very funny blog that I want to mention, called Purple Twinkie.

It's funny and lighthearted; a welcome break from the outside world. On a daily basis, Scott posts funny photos, quotes, and topics. I think Scott has a natural sense of humor. Some people are really funny, but you can tell they are trying a little bit. I think Scott's humor just kind of rolls out, and it's refreshingly funny.

So that's why I wanted to call attention to this great blog. I even made an icon for him, because I like to post a photo every time I write :)

Keep up the great work, Scott. Visit Purple Twinkie now.

I know it's easy to become immune to all the requests for donations in this world. It's so common to be asked for money, and sometimes you don't even know if an organization is trustworthy.

The effects of Katrina are very real, and it makes me sad to think of all the people without homes now...and even worse, those who have died. It's going to take millions to rebuild the areas where Katrina struck. I can't even imagine where to begin.

The Network for Good has compiled a very clear, easy to nagivate page for you to choose a charity to donate to. These are all well known, reputable places to send your money. I strongly urge you make a donation... even if it's just a few dollars. Don't fall for that excuse "What difference will a few dollars make?". Believe me, it helps.

If you make a donation, be proud of yourself, because you've done something nice for someone else. And leave a comment on my blog so I can recognize your act of kindness. I want you to know I'm proud of you.

Click here for the list of safe, secure places to make a donation.

Thanks,

Nathan

A couple of quick news items I want to note:

- During all of the chaos of Katrina, a CNN weatherman got angry during his report on live TV and went off on Carol. "Let me talk, Carol!" Click here to watch the video clip in Quicktime. Link courtesy of CrooksAndLiars.com.

- The Ruby slippers from the 1939 classic "The Wizard of Oz" were stolen from a Grand Rapids museum. That sucks, I loved that movie. Read the article on Yahoo! News.

- And in "Big Brother" news, apparently the Dutch version might feature a live birth on the show. Very bad idea, but I'm sure the ratings will be huge. Read the complete story.

Speaking of "Big Brother", tonight is a new episode of the U.S. show.

You never know when stating the obvious will have an impact. So maybe this entry will stick with someone...

Here in Nashville, we didn't catch nearly as much aftermath of Katrina as expected. We did have some heavy rains and winds, and it was hard to see sometimes on my drive to work. But it's like that anytime we have rain here. Water sprays up from cars and creates that mist that's hard to see through.

Even with it being rainy and dark, idiots were still driving around without their damn lights on. That was so frustrating because sometimes I couldn't see the car until I was right up on it. Then I had to slam on my brakes. And other people were driving way past 70mph, even though the roads were slick.

I know what it's like to be in a hurry. Very stressful. But there is never an excuse to be wreckless. We have wrecks all the time here in Nashville. I've even seen national reports that show Nashville has some of the worst roads in the U.S., plus bad drivers, a lot of construction, and a lot of wrecks.

With all that considered, it's not asking too much to just say "Hey, turn on your headlights. It isn't very hard, you just flick a switch." And try not to speed, because it is harder to brake when the roads are wet.

In addition, no matter what the weather is, ALWAYS use your turn signal. I do not have psychic powers, I do not know you're going to haul your Big Soccer Mom SUV into my lane unless you use your signal and tell me. If you don't use your signal, I'm going to use mine --- my middle finger and my carhorn.

It isn't worth it to risk people's lives just because you're a dumbass behind the wheel. If everyone followed these very basic steps, I don't think I would see so many wrecks on my way to and from work.

On a side note, my thoughts and prayers go out to those affected by Katrina. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Last night, we watched "The Ring Two". It starts out with the obvious... that deadly video tape has made its way to a small town, and it's wreaking havoc on the young teens who pass it around. The survivor Rachel and her son from the first film just happen to live in this small town.

Rachel, played by Naomi Watts, finds the tape and burns it. Now she's went and pissed off that little girl from the well... what's her name, Smegma? Just kidding, but it's something with an "S".

Taking a completely pointless turn, Smegma gets inside the body of Rachel's son and possesses him. Now Rachel's son is running around killing people, and Rachel has to find a way to get the demon out of her son.

So Rachel makes a random visit to the scene of the crime, where that video tape was filmed. Then she hunts down some nuns in a Catholic convent, which leads her to Smegma's birth mother (played by Sissy Spacek), who is of course locked up in an institution.

Okay that's all I can say. I've already summarized the first 90 mins of the film. If I say anymore, I'll ruin the ridiculous ending where Rachel drowns her son/Smegma in the tub, then goes to the well and closes the lid so Smegma can never get out again.

Oops, damn... I said it all. That's the movie. Rachel went to the well to close the lid, which she should have done in the first movie. The End.... or is it?

I just checked out my blog on Windows using Internet Explorer, and the new "Exposed 2.0" design looked awful on it. If you're using Windows and/or Internet Explorer, you probably weren't able to read my blog over the weekend. But I have adjusted the code to be functional on IE now.

So I'm kind of embarrassed, because I hate to put out bad code. As much as I hate Internet Explorer, I do want my work to look good on every platform. So that part of it does suck.

On the other hand, I can't pass up the opportunity to bitch at Microsoft a little. The coding on my blog looked fine on every other major browser. Alternate browsers are built around today's code standards and are intelligent enough to decipher my CSS code and properly display my blog.

Your product (Internet Exlorer), on the other hand, constantly fucks up good code. It's always in the headlines for new vulnerabilities. I really feel it's completely worthless. And that's exactly why your market share is dropping every month. More and more people are realizing better browsers are out there. And they are making the switch.

So, again, if you visited my site using IE this past weekend, I'm sorry that it didn't display properly. But on the other hand, you really should consider switching to Firefox. It's a great browser, free to download and better than any other browser that exists today. Better yet, buy a Mac.

Last night, I had a dream about blogging. You know you're a converted blogger when you're thinking about what to post on your blog while you're asleep.

I really think about blogging more now than ever. During the weekend, I was wondering how everyone was doing out in the world of blog. I wondered if Cory was having a good time with his daughter Brenley. I wondered what kind of political heat Jackson was busy stirring up. I wondered if Matt was going to get hit by a hurricane in Florida. And I wondered if Alex was going to get lucky on his weekend trip to the Hamptons.

Thanks to blog technology, all my questions were answered when each of these guys posted to their blogs. Now I know.

Well I'm feeling quite happy right now. I finally got this blog broken in with a custom design. I started out using Blogger.com templates and I quickly became bored with those. So I came up with the idea of taking a picture of myself with my pants down, hence the whole "naked truth about life" theme. So I got that worked out and I tried adding it to a Blogger template. That was a pain, it was hard working with someone elses' CSS coding. The end result was gaping spaces and inconsistent graphics and colors.

So I spent a huge chunk of last night and today testing the CSS and coming up with a layout I liked. You're looking at the end result... Nathan Exposed 2.0.

I started out with some heavy background colors today, but toned them down for easy reading. I think people with large monitors will dislike the extra space on the right, but my goal was a very stripped down, easy to read blog. So I've implemented some of the basics for online content -- readible font sizes, left aligned margins, etc..

There are still a few places where CSS code is messed up. But I'll get those worked out.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm a graphic/web designer? If I haven't, I'm saying it now :) Anyway, enjoy the new look. I'll try to post before and after screencaps sometime.

Just some photos I found on Yahoo! News. Click any picture to enlarge.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, huh? [Photo from Yahoo! News]

In honor of my blog's 1 month anniversary, I'm posting this photo in tribute to the 2 dirty dicked breeders who inspired me to start it. If it weren't for you, I probably never would have blogged. Thanks guys.

Aw, the end of summer is nearing. I can just feel it. Maybe it's the fact that temperatures are finally somewhat tolerable. Or maybe it's because when I go to a store, I see displays for Back-to-School, Halloween, and Christmas all at one time (bitches!).

It's been nice. I started out the summer in a completely different city. So much has changed, but I'm glad. I like to go walking at night and think about my life, the world around me, and other deep topics. In Raleigh I walked around this gorgeous, authentic "neighborhood". It wasn't one of those cookie cutter ones that are all too common now.

Now, in Nashville, I do the same thing at night. Even though I live in South Nashville, in a residential area with very steep, winding hills, I found this amazing spot up the street. If I walk there, I can see the entire skyline of the city. Downtown Nashville is well over 20 minutes away, but all I have to do is go outside and I'm there.

And airplanes pass over our house constantly. If you ever fly to Nashville, just know that you're stopping by our house on the way. My Dad loves planes, he is always fascinated with them. So when I see or hear a plane, I think of him.

I'll continue to enjoy the summer nights as long as I can. It's went by too fast, but that's how life is.

Look at him, he's so proud of himself :)
Post your caption in the Comments.

How's that for a title?

Today, a guy named Alex commented on my blog and said he likes reading it (thank you Alex). He also said I should tag his blog. Not only am I tagging your blog, Alex, I'm going to write a whole entry about you.

From what I've read, Alex is a very interesting guy. I read his profile and he's a kinky, self proclaimed cock hunter who has a fetish for fucking "straight" guys. Then I checked out his blog and read all about his sexual adventures.

See, I told you he was interesting. I love hearing people talk about their lives. And Alex certainly has some stories to tell.

You know I'm actually a pretty conservative person. I've been in a monogamous marriage with my partner Rodney for going on 5 years. I've never had one night stands or picked up a stranger at a bar. I'm actually very family oriented.

So when a guy like Alex comes along, and leads such a different life than mine, I have to talk about it :)

Alex's blog, titled "The Great Cock Hunt", can be read at http://boyblogspot.blogspot.com/. I don't advise clicking this link if you're at work.

This week's cover of Newsweek features an article about Hillary Clinton becoming our next president in 2008. She has a lot of support and it looks like a strong possibility. I've heard this discussed often, and my first reaction was that it's a good thing. My reason is simple - having the first female president would piss off all kinds of discriminating assholes.

Making good decisions for our country does not require a penis.A strong-minded, intelligent woman could easily run it.

My problem is that Hillary openly opposes gay marriage. And Bill got the discrimination ball rolling while he was in office. People often forget he started the "Marriage Protection Act," which defined marriage as "between a man and a woman."

So Hillary's husband started the damage, and George W. took it even further. So what new damage would Hillary do? On the other side of the coin, I know a Republican isn't going to support gay marriage anytime soon. So Democrat is the only way to go in '08.

The silver lining is that Hillary does support civil unions. Yeah, I know, it's still bullshit, but at least it's a step forward instead of backwards.

This morning I watched a stick-figure re-enactment of the Fatboy Slim video "Weapon of Choice". I highly recommend it for a good laugh and good use of Flash animation. I'm sure a lot of time went into the minimalist stick design.

Watch the full video by clicking here.

Leaving behind Raleigh, NC has been a difficult thing for my partner Rodney. I think he likes it here in Nashville, but he still has a lot of sad spells about Raleigh. We made a lot of memories there, and left behind some great friends.

I do love Raleigh, it's a good city. The choice to move to Nashville was primarily because our family is 3 hours away. And I'm pretty sure Rodney thinks I'm insensitive for just packing up and moving without really stopping to reflect on our lives in Raleigh. Moving is stressful and busy. It's easy to get wrapped up in things and not appreciate the last few days in your home. I'm guilty of that.

But this morning I was thinking about Raleigh, and realized I never really became close to anybody. Most of our friends were friends of Rodney's. I have a few Raleigh friends of my own that I keep in touch with, but it's always very casual. I have a bad habit of not letting anybody know the real me. As a result, I don't get very close to people.

So if I were extremely close to friends in Raleigh, I'm sure I would be in a lot of pain right now. As for the city itself, I do miss it, but it's a city. I feel like it will always be there, we can always go back to visit.

Since I didn't say it sooner, I'm saying it now -- Farewell Raleigh. You're a great southern city, with a lot of charm, and endless potential. I loved your seasons, I loved your people, and I loved your style. I look forward to meeting you again.

And as for getting close to people, maybe I'll make some great friends here in Nashville. Maybe I'll open up more, and let them see who's inside.

Post a caption in the Comments. I know you want to.

ATTENTION GAY GUYS - Do you wipe your dick after you pee?

Last Sunday, I posted an entry about how I find it annoying when gay-themed movies have a scene in the bathroom, and the guy doesn't wipe his dick or wash his hands.

The point of my rant was that it isn't a realistic depiction of gay men. I've asked just about every gay guy I know, and they all wipe their dicks.

But these 2 breeders I work with insist that there is no reason to wipe. And they also pointed out that urinals don't have toilet paper. Urinals were probably designed by dirty dicked breeders, so those don't count. Urinals are gross, backsplash is a bitch.

Anyway... they are your dicks, do what you want with them. But I think this is a HILARIOUS debate and I want to ask the gay guys who read this.

So comment below (no breeders).

This morning, I discovered that I've been "tagged" on Matt's blog, and of course I was curious to find out what that meant. Remember, I'm new to the blogs.

Matt was asked to list 10 songs he likes, and also 5 blogs that haven't been tagged yet. My blog was one of them :)

So now I am to list 10 songs I'm listening to and 5 blogs. Okay, in no particular order...

01. Jim Verraros "So Deep"
02. Mariah Carey "We Belong Together"
03. Keith Urban "Days Go By"
04. Rob Thomas "All That I Am"
05. Darren Hayes "Darkness"
06. Sugarland "Baby Girl"
07. Kelly Clarkson "Hear Me"
08. Michael Buble "Feelin' Good"
09. Natasha Bedingfield "These Words"
10. Papa Roach "Scars"

As for 5 blogs, I don't visit very many. Who should I tag? I'm no fun, guys. But thanks for the link Matt.

Every morning, when I get on the interstate to go to work, the first thing I see is a billboard that says "You were created for a specific purpose". My assumption is that the billboard is funded by some religious group here in Nashville, but I don't know for sure because that's all the billboard says.

No matter who put it there, I really like seeing it. Each time I see it, I think it's a nice reminder that we all have purpose in our lives. No matter what happens, I feel like we are loved.

So anybody who needs to be reminded on this right now, or anybody who is feeling down about something, just remember that
"You were created for a specific purpose" and I'm glad you are here in this world.

How could I go on blogging for a little over 3 weeks now and never mention Mac - the other love of my life?

In short, it is the absolute best computer on the market today. It costs more upfront, because it's better in the long run. If you already own a Mac, you know what I mean. If you don't own a Mac, I know you've thought about it.

I don't care if the majority of the population uses Windows. I'm used to being a minority. Many of those people only use Windows because they are scared to try something better. And the remaining people will never switch because they are stubborn, they like dealing with viruses, spyware, and hackers, and they don't mind frequent crashes.

Visit Apple's newly re-designed Switch page. It does a beautiful job of explaining what makes Macs so much better.

I have a funny story about my first time in Nashville.

It was Sunday morning, the week of Christmas, 2004. Rodney and I stayed here to look for homes before visiting our family. We had went to a famous Nashville location, which was directly across the street from our hotel.

We were leaving this place and walking back towards the hotel. We had a great view of the front of the hotel, so we stopped to take a picture. After taking the picture, I looked up and noticed a man on the 4th floor standing in the window of the hotel, completely naked and talking on his cell phone. There was no glare on the window, it was very clear that this man had no clothes on and he was facing us.

I stopped and said "Rodney, look at that naked man!". He didn't believe me until he focused his eyes on the windows and found the guy's room. We just stood there staring like a bunch of tourists, and this guy must have seen us. He had to know that he was flashing the whole street.

You've heard the phrase "take a picture, it will last longer". Well, I did. I took a picture of the naked guy in the window, and still get a good laugh out of it! I actually have 2 pictures. When I took the full view of the hotel, the guy can be seen in that picture. And he can be seen again in the closer view I took.

Out of respect for the man, the hotel, and the famous location, I can't post the photo. But I had to tell the story, because it was hilarious in person.

You know, I'm just a small town guy, I haven't been to many cities, and I've never seen a naked guy just dangling his business in the window. This was my introduction to the city of Nashville :)

It's hilarious. I went to my Yahoo mail, and this ad for men's hair color is softcore porn. I swear this woman is about to give this man a blowjob. And it's bad 80's porn.

Rodney says he doesn't see it. Do you? Click the thumbnail above for a larger version. I posted a thumbnail because I didn't want people to think the ad was part of my blog.

Remember boys... man + hair color = blowjob. That's all it takes.

Ok, let's just get this out on the table. I'm sure SOMEONE somewhere has noticed this gross trend. I've noticed it in some of the most popular gay movies and it has to stop!

Here's the scene: a guy goes to the bathroom to pee, he doesn't wipe his dick, and he doesn't wash his hands (you know who you are!). I realize a lot of guys pee and don't wipe, but why? Women wipe after they pee, what makes you so special that you don't have to wipe?

Do you have a self cleaning cock? Huh? I think not. So now you're putting your dick back in your drawers with pee still on it. Yuck.

Now I find that many gay guys are aware of this. You've sucked dick, and you know you don't want dirty dick, right? So when you pee, you wipe out of consideration (plus it's just dirty to NOT wipe).

The bathroom scenes are always uncomfortable anyway. The dialogue and sound effects always make me cringe. If you're going to film a man pee, PLEASE have him clean up. If he were really gay, he probably would have.

Moving on... they don't wash their hands. Again, this is a bad trait that a lot of men have. But as a general rule, gay guys are better about washing their hands.

So why do the guys pee, and not wash? Then they walk out of the bathroom, and everything they touch makes me think "he's spreading his piss & dick germs".

Naming names (of course I'm going to call you out on it):

Eating Out - Loved the movie, hated the bathroom scene. It had no point at all. Technically, the character was straight posing as gay, but still, can't he be more considerate? Just minutes later, he was eating dinner at the table (dirty hands). And then hours later, he was about to get it on with this girl. I hope she didn't do oral, because he was dirrrty.

Angles in America - Another great movie. After this guy's "first time", he randomly hopped out of bed and peed, with the door open. No wiping, no cleaning hands, then he had breakfast. Why?

Trick - Dear, sweet Trick. One of the first gay movies of the 21st century. Why did the two lead guys have to pee together at the end? It had no point. And again, no wipe, no clean hands.

Okay, that's the end of this edition of Annoying Gay Movie Trends. Guys, I do realize these people are just pretending to pee. But if you're going to make us sit through the uncomfortable bathroom scenes, please clean up better, k?

If you have any Annoying Gay Movie Trends, please feel free to add them to the Comments. I want to know what movie moments make you cringe every time!

As you can see, I've done some modifications to the original template blogger.com provided me. I like the blue and pink, I made the header graphic myself (those are my legs with my pants down, hence the "nathan exposed" title). But the templates are a bitch to edit.

Does anybody know how to do more advanced editing on the blogger templates? There is this large gap between the header and the content and I can't get it to go away.

Any advice is appreciate, please leave a comment. Thanks

A new note to mention that I really like Keith Urban's CD, "Be Here". Okay, so I live in Nashville now... it was only a matter of time before I started talking about country music. On the contrary, a lot of people here HATE country music. They are anti-country, especially since they live in Nashville and are stereotyped to automatically love it.

To be honest, many of the people I meet are not hardcore country people. They don't wear cowboy hats and are very down to earth people (though way too conservative). And there are a lot of liberal, free thinking people too. They love to stand out with their opinions & unique personalities.

We are the smaller version of Hollywood. We do have a lot of people in the music industry, and hundreds more who are trying to make it. It's pretty exciting.

Okay I'm way off the subject. Anyway I do really like Keith Urban's CD, and he seems like the type of guy you could just sit and talk to if you saw him around town. Who knows...maybe I will see him someday. He lives here, of course.

And I always like to know a person's astrology sign...to see if we share some of the same traits. He's a Scorpio, and I understand where he is coming from in his words. Maybe it's just because he is a great writer and knows how to connect with people, and has nothing to do with his birthday. Whatever the case, it's good music

Oh... and once I read that he doesn't wear underwear. That's really hot, yet kind of gross, all at the same time :)

I am so glad it's Friday. It really started out as a week from Hell, but things finally started getting better on Thursday morning, and it looks like they will continue going uphill for awhile. Let's hope anyway.

Today's topic is Entertainment. When I started this blog a few weeks ago, I was trying to work through the sad feelings as the 1 year anniversary of my Grandmother's passing approached. Mixed in were some random rants about how much I hate George W. Bush, and it was all pretty dark stuff.

So I'm feeling good today, and would like to talk about some favorite shows and music. Rodney and I love watching the re-runs of Golden Palace on Lifetime. We're big Golden Girls fans. It's a great show. If you think the show is just for older people -- you are sadly mistaken. It was really a show ahead of its time. It covered all the controversial and uncomfortable issues that still exist today. Obviously the show can't solve all these issues, but it did offer an uplifting insight to them all.

And The Golden Palace was the spin-off of the series in 1992 (remember spin-offs?). It isn't nearly as funny as the first series, and it only lasted 1 season. But Rodney and I don't remember the original Golden Palace episodes, so we love seeing them for the first time.

Of course, I still watch my other favorites.... Big Brother and Kathy Griffin. Sadly, Queer as Folk has run its final new episode now *sigh* And we can't wait for Ellen Degeneres to be back this fall. Oh, and Desperate Housewives.

35 more minutes and it's time for Big Brother 6! This whole show is built around human nature and the fact that people will lie, cheat, and whatever else just to win money. They aren't left on a deserted island to fend for themselves. The only real hardships are the mind games they play with each other.

I'm a jerk for even promoting this madness. AND I LOVE IT! Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, we can't get enough!

And hey kids...have you voted for who you want to return to the Big Brother house? Vote for Eric. I know he's annoying as hell, but Kaysar and Michael are E-V-I-L!

So it's annoying fireman vs. mean backstabbers...you be the judge

Kathy's "best gay", Dennis, has a blog now. I love Kathy Griffin's new show, and so I wanted to add a quick link to the blog. Click here to read it.

Tomorrow is a new episode of her new show on Bravo. I can't wait.

... to bring me down.

It is my general nature to always be bitching about something, because something always seems to be wrong in life. I try to be an optimist, and most people who know me describe me as a very friendly, upbeat person. But that doesn't change the fact that a lot of shit is always going on behind the scenes.

There is always some insane bill that surprises us. For example, I found out today that there are $262 worth of lab fees for a doctor visit in March that I now have to pay. I just got the bill now...5 months later. All I wanted was my cholesterol reading, but the doctor ordered all these other expensive tests, and now the lab is saying it is my responsibility to deal with the problem. To get the charges removed, the doctor will have to admit he ordered them without my consent. YEAH RIGHT! My doctor turned out to be an asshole, there's no way he will admit being wrong.

And we're always over our heads in debt thanks to unplanned expenses like these. No wonder we can't pay off our debt. It never goes away.

That's just a small example, there is always something like this going on. I spend so much of my time trying to work out billing issues...does anybody in this world understand how to charge people correctly?

This week has been especially stressful...more than usual.

The bright side

This is taking a really big leap of faith, but most of my problems do get resolved. It requires countless hours on the phone and writing complaint letters. It also requires weeks, even months of waiting, and endless amounts of patience (which I was not born with!).

God, please be with me. I just wish my life could be steady for awhile. And poor Rodney gets sucked into all these problems too. My problems become his, and we work on them as a team...but really I just wish things could be calm for awhile.

Take the insurance! It's a very long story, but to summarize... when you rent a car, you will be offered insurance for a few dollars more. It is not a scam! It doesn't matter if you already have auto insurance, take the extra protection that is being offered to you. We learned the hard way.

Those were the parting words in the narration of Queer As Folk. Tonight was the last episode of the U.S. series. We're sad to see you go, guys. Your brilliance and honesty has helped shaped an entire era of television, and helped pave the future for gay television.

Thank you for everything you've done. Thank you for giving insight into gay people as real human beings, not just airheaded sidekicks on sitcoms. Thank you for inspiring today's gay youth & adults to be strong and be themselves, even in these troubled times. If this show were around when I was growing up, I have no doubt it would have seriously helped me come to terms with being gay.

But now it's happened, and nobody can take that away. Your legacy will live on thanks to DVD's and re-runs, and you will be there to inspire and educate both gay and straight audiences. Your presence will be missed on Sunday nights, but we know that you have left your mark in history, and that can never be changed.

Wouldn't it be interesting if you could go back in time and tell the younger version of yourself some pearls of wisdom about your future?
-----
Dear Young Nathan

Sorry this letter is late, you know how bad you are about procrastinating sometimes. But better late than never, I suppose. There are some things I need you to hear.

First of all, a belated congratulations on your graduation from high school. I know it has been the most unbearable journey, full of hard times and self-doubt. But you made it! You really made it. You didn’t give up the fight, you didn’t drop out or runaway. I know you wanted to, but now it’s all behind you. And next time you are in school (well college), you will be “popular”…I know you wanted to be. You will also be appreciated for your intelligence, and accepted as a gay man. So keep smiling, the best is yet to come.

It’s 5 years later now, and if a voice inside could have told you the future, I’m sure you would have liked to know a little about it. I can’t go back in time and prepare you for what comes next, but at least I can talk about it now.

Second of all, fuck all the people who brought you down. At the time, it may have seemed like they were on top, and I know you felt like an outcast. Big deal. You have always stuck to your own beliefs and morals. You’ve believed in your creative visions, you’ve avoided drugs, and you’ve tried to be an honest, genuine person. I know that’s hard when liars, backstabbers, and wannabes surround you.

In the large scope of life, acceptance from your high school peers meant nothing. When you come back to your hometown to visit, the people who brought you down will be suffering for their mistakes. Some of the biggest bullies will still be living with their parents, have no direction in life, and will wonder where they went wrong. They will be stuck in the same small town with nothing to show for all their years of arrogance.

You, on the other hand, will have a strong marriage, a successful career, and a great amount of respect and self-confidence. And best of all, you will have gained these things without compromising your character. So just remember that you took the high road.

Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying though. Life is always filled with ups and downs. You will suffer the effects of an unstable economy. People you love will die without any warning, and your heart will be broken. Relationships will fall apart when you thought they would last forever, and everything you think you know now will be turned upside down.

It will all workout, somehow. You will become stronger after each dramatic surprise or loss.

Third, and finally, please appreciate those who are still with you. Over time, you will get much better about this. A lot of friends will come and go. So far, your friend Winso is the only one who will stick around. But I only know the future as of today, so maybe there will be others.

And another friend will become your new love. I can’t elaborate on that too much because you think Dennis is the one right now. Well enjoy it while it lasts. He’s certainly “the one” for you right now. You’re 18, just starting out on your own, so just enjoy the times while you can.

In many ways, life just gets harder. But it does get better too. New lives will form, new loves will bloom, and new memories will take place.

Take care, young Nathan.

Love,

Nathan, 23

I have to confess I can't stop thinking about the new reality TV show "Being Bobby Brown" on Bravo.

First of all, if you don't know what it is -- basically it's cameras following around Whitney Houston in her daily displays of madness & confusion. I don't care if the show is supposed to be about Bobby, you know damn well it's about Whitney.

It's difficult to watch 2 mins. of the show without thinking "this is ridiculous, why I am I watching this?". It really is crazy. But there is always this day-after effect that I get. I start hearing Whitney in my head yelling "Bobby! Bobby!". She does it all the time. She stumbles around, strung out on drugs, and is always searching for Bobby...who is usually drunk in some corner, mumbling to the camera about how much he loves his wife and kids.

My favorite example is when they were in London shopping, and she was just walking around in the mall saying "Bobby! Bobby?" and she'd just ask random people "Have you seen my husband?".

Then there are the random references to "The Bodyguard", which came out 13 years ago! Whitney will sing part of "I'm Every Woman" or Bobby will say that Whitney looks like she did in the movie. C'mon...it's been 13 years! I guess her fans aren't the only ones who think Whitney was better in the 90's.

And the final thing I love is when Whitney will stop what she's been doing, and say "Whew." Like she's exhausted from walking up some steps, and she just has to say "Whew" in that singing voice...like it's part of a song, and she'll tilt her head and say it. And she also throws in this crazy fake laugh sometimes. It's very thick, I don't know where it comes from, but it doesn't even sound like her.

So I hate this show, but have to confess I love some of the crazy things that stick with me afterward.

"Bobby!! Bobby... Where is my husband?...crazy laugh...Whew...."

Last night I watched Kathy Griffin's new TV show on Bravo, Kathy Griffin: Life on the D-List. It was hilarious! I love Kathy Griffin, and I'm glad she's got her own TV show. I also saw her new stand-up special, Kathy Griffin is Not Nicole Kidman, and it was equally funny... especially her material on Clay Aiken ("Gayken" as she calls him). I used to live in Raleigh, where Clay is from.

If you haven't seen Kathy's new show or stand-up special, I highly recommend them both. Find out more info at: http://www.bravotv.com/Kathy_Griffin/

I just read a quick article on Yahoo! about Melissa Etheridge, with an update on her recovery from cancer.

"I would say I'm 97 percent back now," Etheridge told AP Radio in an interview. "It is very hard. ... Chemotherapy is so hard on a person. And I would say I'm fully recovered, yeah."

I was just listening to Melissa's "Lucky" CD this morning. It's such a great CD. Due to her cancer, I know she wasn't able to promote this album nearly as much as it deserved. But it is a phenominal CD filled with compelling and insightful songs.

Good for you, Melissa. I'm so glad you've made it.

I really have a habit of starting out posts with song titles. I guess it helps summarize what I feel. "Feeling Good" is a song by Michael Buble. I love that song, it makes me feel empowered. I listened to it a lot on the way to work. Rodney likes it too. And we also like his song "Home", though it is heart wrenching because it reminds us of Grandma.

But I am feeling pretty good. I've fallen off the wagon, just as I said I would. I didn't post anything here yesterday, after posting every day last week. And I didn't post over the weekend, but I probably never will so I'm not counting that.

This past weekend was filled with a high amount of drama (there's usually always some amount in my life). But I'm optimistic. Things almost always work out in my life, one way or another. Which leads me to this new goal I have, though I have no idea if I will act on it.

In another news, I've thrown around the idea, and wonder about writing a book about my life, focused on the "coming out" years. Most gay people have a story about coming out. And I know heteros would probably just roll your eyes and say 'what's the big deal?" I can see why it's hard to understand, but really it's an amazing thing to come out. There is so much deeply embedded hate and tension in this world about being gay. When you take that bold step and say "I am not afraid to be me", there is so much courage and strength required.

And many stories have gone unheard. I do feel like a survivor, I feel like I've made it through a lot of rough stuff and turned out to be a very strong and successful person. I want to share my story with others, in hopes it would inspire at least one gay person. Because when I was going through it all, I needed somebody to tell me his story. (Ellen Degeneres was my somebody, by the way. She gave me inspiration when she came out in 1997.)

When I look at my blog, I see rambling pages full of untamed emotion and thoughts. It isn't very organized, but it's hard to organize the heart and mind. So it's okay.

But it would be nice to get my story out, revise and re-organize it in a book format, and try to get it published. We'll see. The bottom line of the book would be "I am undefeated". The people who hurt me and tried to bring me down in the past...they have not kept me from living my life. And I want them to see it. And I want others to know they can come out on top too.

If there was a theme song for the book, it would undoubtedly be "Feeling Good".