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Monday, July 25, 2005

You Don't Know...

You don't know what you mean to me.

You can't even begin to imagine how much I love you and genuinely care about you. I think about you all day. Even after 4 years, I still feel that spark for you. I still can't wait until I get off work so I can come home to you.

I'm here at lunch now, eating this delicious meal you made for us and our family yesterday. You are such a good cook. You are so many good things.

I apologize for the times when I am harsh with you. It's an ugly thing, but it is part of my nature. I feel very bad after I do it, and you'll probably never understand this, but it is actually good for me (even though it's bad for us).

I spent so many years of my life repressing my internal anger. It ate my insides, it made me sick and I felt so heavy. Now I just let it out and go on. If something irritates me, I snap, I say what I mean, and I'm over it.

Whenever I can, I will attempt to be more constructive when something bothers me. But one way or another, I have to let it out. I can't bottle it up. But I love you so much, and I don't want you to be hurt. You certainly don't deserve to suffer for my own turmoils.

Having you in my life is the greatest thing. There is no one else that I am closer to. You are my best friend, my soulmate, my companion, my partner, my husband, whatever you want to call it - you are all that and more to me. There are secret thoughts that I share with you, that I would never share with anyone else. You're the only one who deserves to know some of them, and the only one who could understand.

Thank you so much for being who and what you are. You are so beautiful to me. I love seeing you as you look back at me. I just wanted you to know, because I feel like there is so much that you don't know. And out of all you might not know, it's how much I love you.

Posted by Nathan @ 10:53 AM


Oh Nathan, that is so beautiful. *teary*

Commented by Blogger Sunshine, 5:03 PM  
Thanks Sunshine :)

Commented by Blogger Nathan, 6:00 PM  

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